Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
