A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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