"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I had to cum in my sink.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
