I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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