So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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