i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
