at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
