his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
