I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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