Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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