Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I touched a dick in church today
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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