I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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