For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
