He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He shit in the fireplace
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
