I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
