i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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