So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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