I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
pray to the hookup gods
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
