Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
