Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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