It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
