I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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