the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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