You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
