Small penises have feelings too.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
