ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
