so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
