i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
