cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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