Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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