Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
