Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
