may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
