i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
