He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
