I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
