What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
