did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
