haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
