I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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