ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
