She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
