So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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