Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
