put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
