What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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