you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
