Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
