That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
