I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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