Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
