we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
