I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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