I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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