Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
