elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize